Gen Z's Epidemic of Loneliness, American Bureaucratic Dehumanization and the Post-Adolescence Problem
Alt Title: The Motivation Behind Loose Ties
Since the 1970s in America, we have observed a cultural phenomenon that is often informally referred to as a “quarter-life crisis” — the stressful period of time in a young person’s life when one must make the transition from adolescence into early adulthood1. That period of time where they must leave behind the comfort of the guardrails of a predetermined path (elementary school to middle school to high school to college, etc.) for the newness, uncertainty, and precariousness of an uncharted one — where they are left to their own devices to decide how they are to proceed in a life that has always been guided for them.
In college, we referred to this dreaded period of time as “post-grad,” and were remiss to bring it up in an otherwise lively conversation if not absolutely necessary, for it would almost always kill the fun we were having. And sure — for many, college was nothing more than four years of having all of the freedom in the world attached to none of the responsibility; there’s a reason for the anecdotal tales often shared around kitchen islands at family gatherings of going on multiple day-long benders, having off-and-on relationships with multiple partners, and developing nocturnal sleep schedules — all of which would have you categorized as an alcoholic, or a party animal (and not the good kind) or at the very least, someone with “a lot of emotional work to do” in the real world. College is a unique period of time where it is possible to get away with doing everything in the world except for your job.
For many of us, however, leaving college meant something much deeper and more frightening than assuming the responsibility we always had coming — it meant leaving a structure that supported socialization with our peers. You are left to deal with the whiplash effect of having been around people of similar age and shared experience your entire life, and now you're suddenly surrounded by people who aren't even in the same generation — people you cannot relate to. Just as the idea of never being able to recall seeing your neighbors bringing in their groceries is often cited as evidence for simulation theory, so too is the anecdote that everyone your age seems to disappear when you enter the corporate world. Where do they all go? The answer is simple — but not encouraging.
As it is easy to see in past generations, people used to grow up, graduate college, get married, buy a house and start a family. The neighbors across the street and to the sides of them, along with the parents of their kids’ friends and collogues they knew at work became their community, even though dad might never get further past the surface than discussing the events of Sunday night’s NFL game while mom smiles through her teeth at the same conversation she has to have with Nancy every day as they await their kids’ arrival at the bus stop. They would live and die by these monotonous surface-level interactions, writhing on the inside for just the slightest amount of realness or authenticity, but knowing it was likely too far of a leap to take.
As grim as that reality seems, the reality these days is far worse. Less than ever are getting married and starting families2, the depression and suicide rates are higher than they have ever been in human history3, and over 4/5 people in the current generation report feeling lonely4. And, as technology continues to embed its way into society, we continue to trade our small conversations in for dating apps, our hobby groups in for online chat circles, and our authentic personas in for more “favorable”
ones. Just like in the episode, “Nosedive”, of Netflix’s UK-based smash hit “Black Mirror”, we are actively creating our true hell on Earth by choosing to trade in who we truly are for who we believe everyone else wants us to be5.
So it seems, though no one really disappears in actuality, we all disappear into a void of self-alienation and algorithmic identity. As the kids would say, “born to be ‘just a chill guy’, forced to ‘build a culture of excellence.”
This brings us to the problem we currently face: how do we bring back authentic, human community in an age plagued by social disconnection?
Imagine an organization—or rather, a fortified group of friends—that meet regularly not only to socialize, but to come together for meaningful activities that better the community. An organization with no hard commitments, where you can come and go as you please, but end up never wanting to leave. An organization that leads from an open, genuine, unadulterated heart to befriend and love others, that isn’t afraid of a little humor made in good faith. An organization where everyone feels like a close friend.
This leads me to the reason The Loose Ties Society was created. As a young adult who has witnessed all of the above happen from a variety of different angles, I recognize that nothing will change if we don’t decide to. I’m here to tell you that if anything I’ve said so far resonates with you and you find yourself stuck in the same unhappy cycle, you’re not alone.
Many will read this and simply not understand it—and that’s entirely okay. But we get it. And no, it’s not just “how things are” when you get to this point in your life. At the very least, it’s not how things have to be.
There are people all around you that ache for that same genuine connection that you do, and we’re deciding to do something about it.
*If you live in the Houston area and would like to join or learn more about The Loose Ties Society, please send us a message or connect with us on our socials. We would love to have you.*
https://www.newportinstitute.com/resources/mental-health/post-college-depression/
https://marriagefoundation.org.uk/research/the-collapse-of-marriage-among-gen-z/
https://jedfoundation.org/mental-health-and-suicide-statistics/
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/pieces-of-mind/202503/loneliness-fear-of-failure-and-suicide-among-young-adults/
https://medium.com/@jfontaina/black-mirror-nosedive-analysis-1bc219e8bd13